A Jester's Pain
by lightcycle
Summary: A Jester plots escape... sweet sweet freedom.


_Kaplop_

_Kaplop_

_Kaplop_

I cringe as they hit the floor. I already can hear the hollow echo as his yells reverberate against the halls. I know the knight faithfully standing by his side will raise his weapon, daring me to walk out, daring me to wish for his cold spear to meet my flesh. I tremble, my teeth scraping my bottom lip. I pick them up, but almost drop them again when I see his icy glare. That glare will forever haunt me. I find myself becoming… useless. I am not longer amusing, but… he will not release me from his grasp.

He summons to me. I barely am able to walk, and he huffs in his impatience. I flinch when his hand makes contact with my chin. I fear my knees will not hold my weight. He gently traces a thumb across the stripe below my left eyes, and I shiver. It is unwanted attention. I can see the look of animal desire in his eyes, and I cannot, cannot look at it.

I turn my head away, but he will have no such action. He forcefully grabs my face, forcing it to look back upon his own. He rubs a few of my tawny locks between his fingers, and I feel the wet tears threatening to fall at my lashes. My lip trembles and I start to quake when his hand snakes to my waist, pulling me to him. I do not want this, but I dare not refuse him. I belong to him.

Despite the misfortune of my position, his mistress walks in, and it delays his hand from going any lower. I take this as my opportunity to wrench myself away. His hands grasp the air in my absent presence. I rush past milady, the air I create with my passing ruffling her petticoats. I flee down the peasant laden streets to my secret home. My true home was not in the castle. It was not. It was not my place to amuse him constantly, not my place to amuse him in his bed, not even to amuse him in times of frustration, because even those were to frequent … I was not supposed to be a slave.

I quickly shut and locked the door, barely recognizing the movement, for it was habit now. I saw my face in the cracked mirror, seeing my heaving chest, my tear-laden face. I saw the crooked hat upon my brow… it was obscene, having bells and tacky colors, and in fact made me look quite ridiculous. I threw it to the floor, and shrugged out of the vest and shoes. As I lay upon my bed of straw, I looked at the stars through a hole in my worn roof. How pleasant would it be to be as free as the stars? How would it feel to jump underneath the moon, to leave entertaining others to another, to do as I wished?

I sighed, knowing that thinking about running away was only fueling my impossible fantasies. So close to impossible in fact that I would be risking my very life in order to even plan such a stunt. I would be caught and most probably killed before I even so much as touched the gate. Nothing was sharper or more swift than the guard... would they ever look away from their posts? No, I supposed. There would have to be something extraordinary to distract them.

As I thought, I decided, no they could not be tricked. And I was not one for putting other people's lives in danger. Especially to save myself, someone already wasted, done. Hmm…A bribe maybe. Would they have pity for an overworked jester? Perhaps. But what would be the price?

I looked in my corner. An almost full bottle of strong sea rum sat there. I had gotten it as a gift from a sea captain pitying my position. He was Spanish and strongly disagreed with English discretion. His gratitude towards me was greatly appreciated, though I didn't booze. I was much more vulnerable in a drunken state. I was weak enough without drink.

I looked at the moon through the hole in my roof. It was about midnight. I pushed back my lank hair from my sweaty forehead and sighed. I got up, and carefully dressed in my off hours outfit. I pushed the ridiculous hat atop my head. Taking careful silent steps, I led myself to the gate. I could still smell the fresh makeup on my cheek, replacing that which the horrid king wiped off.

"Psst! Pssst!" I hoarsely whispered at the rim of the gate, only letting one amber eye peer from the edge in case I was forced to flee.

They took it with stride. They drank it all. All. I watched as one fell on the lever… I ran for it.

They barely noticed my absence. I threw off my hat, ripped the bells from my shoes. I lavished in the wind blowing past my face, the wind whistling in my ears. I lodged myself behind a tall oak tree, wincing at the fall of leaves. It was still safe. I viciously rubbed my face, white and red creams coming off in my hands. I ran, my tired feet finally brushing through dew kissed grass. The sun was rising.

I am determined not to let them find me. I will be free.

It's all I ever wanted. And now it's mine. I own the world.


End file.
